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TTITF

Its back! I haven’t been thinking about things I’ve been grateful for in a day because life’s been to shitty and I’ve been to lazy and all that. Shame on me. But today someone triggered it and I decided to pen them down over the week.

Three Things I’m Thankful For: 

  1. Nisal spoke to me on the phone and said “Nik I miss your positive energy, come back soon.” And just awwwwww. That’s such a nice thing to hear when you’re away… it makes thinking about going back not so yux. Plus my last few days in KL I was so moody and stuff…
  2. Today I was upset that these group of people told my friend he was weird for having out with someone like me. Then my friend came to me and said “I would rather be friends with you than them” and I felt so touched over these quality friends.
  3. Another friend’s appreciation for my presence, was a real pick me up. Makes being away from family not seem so bad. Also makes me feel like I’m not so that weird and am capable of being funny bc she said she told me she hadnt laughed so much in a while bc I was away. Compliments are always welcomed (-:
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Three Things I’m Thankful For

(haven’t written anything in this thankful tag in a long time but today has been too good to not jot it down)

TTITF:

1/6/2016

  1. To be asked to do something with someone…is like….thank you for not disliking me and being my friend (-:
  2. Ran to bishan to meet my mum for dinner and as I was running these 2 guys were blocking  the path. Slightly exasperated (cause I was like ‘fk running h8 running’ in my head) I was like “sorry excuse me”….. the guy moved AND while moving said “JIA YOU”. I was like omgggggg what a nice thing to say to a stranger??????  this gave me the POWERRRRR to sprint to bishan huhuhu. Really quite touched haha
  3. Confrontational friends. I’m pretty confrontational when it comes to friends i truly treasure. And no one has really been v confrontational w me. BUT TODAY someone was….and I feel (-: clearing the air is always gr8
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3 Things I’m Thankful For: he offered me bread

I do this thing whereby after each day, I note down at least 3 things that happened that made me thankful/ and in a sense happy/ made me smile too. Sometimes the moments come and I get hit with waves of positive emotions and I make a mental note to put it down in the list, sometimes its not so straightforward and I have to reflect on what happened in the day.

Today as I tried remembering what happened in the day, I suddenly thought of Ian and I standing on the escalator going to the MRT. He was standing on the step above me eating the bread we bought earlier. My head level coincided with the level he was holding his bread and (I remember the scene so clearly), I looked in the direction of his bread. Suddenly his hand tilted forward, offering me his bread. idk I can’t explain it but when this scene replayed in my head, it made me feel warm. I know its just bread and it doesn’t mean much but like Ian’s a boy and boys don’t usually offer you food once they get their hands on it hahhaha and ya….

I think this whole reflecting on the day thing is a very good practice because it helps you find the smallest things that happened and it puts a smile on your face. Suddenly a full on crappy day can become 2% less crappy. Often, moments like these go unnoticed because sometimes it can be quite trivial (like people telling me they read my blog/ telling me their thoughts on what I wrote and giving me their own view/input) and we don’t realise how much of life we miss out on because we just drift by, day to day.

SO YES, TTITF EVERYONE!! (-:

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I miss you, you lil’ bitxh

Lisa Koh Su-Yin,IMG_9057

My peranakan, catholic, crazy, hilarious, insane classmate/ gym buddy/ source of joy, I miss you. IMG_2076

I miss how you always brighten up a room with your laughter.  IMG_2780
I miss how you laugh at everything I say.IMG_3408
I miss your sass. IMG_5208
I miss your ridiculously lame jokes. IMG_5107
I miss your gym encouragements like ‘mmmm looking guud’ or ‘sexayyy’. IMG_2657
I miss your toot factor checks, your looking out for my VISHNU, our ‘woman enough for you dance’, your ‘nikass compliments’, your subtle yet obvious hatred for the male species, your constant search for wifi, your wingman moments, the weird faces you make when you’re taking pictures, and everything about you that made everyday of my school/ canoe life so much more enjoyable.  IMG_2194

Most importantly, thank you for joining canoeing. The team literally sees each other every day now and I think I wouldn’t mind seeing you 5 out of 7 days a week for 10 hours each day. Thank you for always being happy and bubbly and reminding me not to be grumpy. shit i really miss u a lot. u bitxh y u go party with all the hot ang mohs. h8 u.

haha ok, no sappy sappy, luv u

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Time away from you is…..

Yesterday was a semi disgusting day. Not sure why I snapped into a bad mood and got super tired but thankful for the best chinese teacher in AC and tolerant friends.

Anyway, no human interaction today was fantastic. Aren’t extroverts social butterflies? Then why do I lack the ability to bask in the company of my friends. Being home today gave me time to actually hear my own thoughts, to cease the over thinking, to sort out my schedule, my mind and what I want and don’t. REVALUATE LIFE yknow hah. Have I come to a conclusion? Not exactly, but we’re getting there….

Ok this wasn’t supposed to be a depressing post because I seem melancholy in like EVERY post. I’m sorry reader, I’m not depressed…I just seem to be- someone once told me he thought of me as ‘a thinker’ after reading my posts..then I told him most of post ideas come when I’m showering lul.

Actually had a lot of post ideas today but can’t seem to remember any. And I said I sorted my mind out but this post still seems messy…. (thank you reader if you are still reading this disembodied post of me rambling).

Things I Am Grateful For List

Friday (19 Sept’14)
1. Time alone
2. Best Lao shi IMG_8326
3. Friend checksIMG_8324
4. Celine for printing my I&R in school for me ^^

Thursday (18 Sept’14)
1. Food cravings satisfied before tuition
2. Tolerant friends + laoshi letting me sleep
3. Meeting jiemeis in the morning
– haven’t really been meeting bc our timings haven’t been right for quite some time but we were FULL STRENGTH (mins the usual Celine and James)  and it felt GREAT
4. Touches of affection
– you know when someone accidentally hits your head and their first reaction is to grab your head and sayang you (in a non gross mushy way) DO U FEEL ME??

Wednesday (17 Sept’14)
1.  Fun PE despite my frisbee phobia but omg my class is hilarious, also, Mr Ng’s a cool PE teacher
2. Celebrating birthdays

IMG_8278

#onlycanoeists

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wahpaing arm is bigger than Dick’s arm )-‘:

 IMG_8286  IMG_8253 IMG_8238_1

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insufficient feelings

Time’s running out and everyone around me is so hardworking and idk….starting to panic and starting to study but not making any progress because I’m distracted in every way possible. Not sure if i should be stressing myself out more so I’ll actually study or try to destress bc stress = nononononono ??
Need to put everything aside and sort everything out – everything tangible and intangible.
Need to stop feeling so empty and needy and gr055 and start enjoying JC hahahah
Also, need a study buddy to watch me study bc will probably end up looking around if I was left alone to study in school…..aiya

Things I Am Grateful For List

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ew matching clothes

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Present ~

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tq for listening

Tuesday (16 Sept’14)
1. Breakfast w the zoo
2. Jailbreak master for solving my life problems (i.e.Aaron for making my snapchat and lock screen cool)
3. SELF CONTROL bc didn’t even go down to the canteen to eat today
4. Dick food delivery serves (-:
5. Daily dose of canoeists – feels weird not seeing them for so long bc saw them almost everyday before stand down
6. Walks to the mrt w Denise

IMG_8189 IMG_8190_1

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Tiny Tragedies

‘And all of our parents, they’re getting older
I wonder if they’ve wished for anything better
While in their memories tiny tragedies’ 

Its mummy’s birthday today but tbh, rather than her feeling like she just aged a year, I feel like I’m all grown up and I don’t like it one bit.

Bought her dinner today and when I handed the person the money, I had an ‘omaigad’ moment. The worst part was when she thanked me for dinner. That was more of a ‘wtf is happening’ moment. I thank my parents for meals, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!! THATS FOR GROWN UPS. sighz.

They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something’s better
On the other side’

 

First day back to school and already tired haha. WEAK. Was filled with a bunch of emotions today…..

Happy – because I saw my friends and I feel like coming out of the isolation of your home is GREAT.
Glum – because mind is not sorted out, everything is not sorted out. Also, ‘not-the-only-one’ feelings suck shitballz. Idk if this is me? I don’t do this kind of thing….Am I doing it for you or for me? Just to be ‘one of the few’ is just disgusting tbh…Confused, dazed, excited are a few others to mention.

not bold enough to express, not bold enough to relax, not bold enough

lol school stop sucking my soul

Things I Am Grateful For List

Monday (15 Sept’14)
1. People who listen
2. Chinese lessons
3. John Mayer and The Script songs ^^