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Updates

Its been a while since I put my thoughts into words and shared my monthly memories. I’ll try and do a quick catch up from december till may.

Stay tuned

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What’s Yours Is Mine

Today I walked into my moms toilet and she looked at me and asked,
“What are you doing?”

“Taking cotton wool for my face”

“Is it no need to ask?”

“But whats yours is mine.”

“No, you still have to have the courtesy to ask.”

“But you always say whats yours is mine to me.”

“Because I paid for it.”

The End.

Moral of the story: Its always polite to ask / stop being so self assuming

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Restricted

It’s starting to annoy me that I don’t have the freedom my fellow 97-liners do. Having to walk on egg shells before I ask for permission to go out. Waiting for the right time, the right mood. Adding the fact that I’m only here for less than 2 months. PLUS getting the response “idk, i just want to say no” when asked for the rationale behind my confinement.

Maybe one day when I’m older I’ll understand why I’m being put through this ordeal just to go out at night..but for now I just want to go out and be able to make my decisions. Obviously I’m not going to go out every night, come home at 4am every day….

I just… ugh

im twenty

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Mind Over Body

Food is my kryptonite.

I really..ugh.. feeling so untoned and blobby is making me feel so awful everyday. I exercise and for some reason people say I look like I put on weight. Then I look at food and I want to eat everything.

And everyday is an internal battle on wanting to eat what I want to eat or having to eat healthily.

Isn’t it funny how when I first came I didn’t give 2 shits about what I was consuming and was like NASI LEMAK, NASI KUKUS, TAU HUEY CHWEE, CHICKEN RICE, SAO ROU, KFC, MIXED RICE THAT COST RM10, and I didnt seem to be putting on weight. And yet now, when I’m watching what I’m eating, I’m still putting ¬†on weight?

wHYYYYYYY

READ the other time I felt this shitty here: When The Muscles Fail

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Stressed

I’m stressed about my exams but I’m telling myself its gonna be okay…then I begin to think its okay…then I slack off…then I start panicking….then I start being upset over other small things so I don’t get upset about my study progress and everything is just a coagulated bundle of stress.