[relive]: JanFeb ed.

I never did a summary for January and February, so heres a combined one!

1. At the start of the year, we had our first ever sleepover at Aaron’s house.

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2. The first week was Freedom Week and we celebrated Celine’s birthday as jiemeis, I had lunch with Nic and Kim and I trekked the old malaysian railway w Edwin, Chew, Matt, Aaron, Weiqian and Hong Lin. (click the post to read about those!!)

3. The SUNDAY of that week, Edwin and I went to collect our eagles award, which was rather anti climatic in my opinion. IMG_1262

4. The second week of January, a few of us went back to AC for open house on WEDNESDAY to support our juniors. MOST importantly, GOT TO EAT MAKAN BAGUS AND KAYA CHICKEN CHIP WAFFLE!!!! IMG_1385IMG_1384.PNG

5. On THURSDAY, I went to run Lornie Rd w Edwin and Chew and we sat on the pontoon reminiscing for a while. The getting tan and talking part and feeling excellent after exercising was great, but what followed wasn’t so great bc my ankle (that I sprained in Thailand) got worse and even now its still not fully recovered ): IMG_1386

6. That SATURDAY was CLUBBING NIGHT!! Fun fun, wouldn’t do it regularly, but it was fun. We went over to Kevins house to pre drink, then we went to zouk, then to Emma’s house that night to crash. Virgin experience was pretty great.IMG_1444

7. After work the next day, SUNDAY, I went down to support the juniors for their SCM with Adilah, Emma, Margey, Kevin and Minh Anh. Really very proud of all of them…I remember this time last year, we were starting our canoe high. IMG_2155

8. On the third week of January, we went out on WEDNESDAY for lunch to celebrate Evan’s early birthday. Do you like our colour themed outfits?IMG_1518.JPG

9. On FRIDAY, canoe went to Aaron’s house to bake a cake for Ian’s surprise party the next day. It turned out surprisingly well. IMG_1578
10. Ian’s surprise party on SATURDAY!! (featuring my swollen conjunctivitis eye)IMG_1601IMG_1611

11. Then I got hospitalised for bronchitis. And I must say, the whole experience, other than the coughing and not being able to breathe, was very fun…eespecially the breakfast part bc the cereal that they served was amazing…and I had a steak for one of the dinners!!!IMG_2067



1. First week, I had lunch w Darrell and Cel at the grub cause I wasn’t allowed to go far far away after just recovering from bronchitis

2. The next day, I had breakfast w Denise, then  had my first ever driving lesson!!! like woaawww  I moved a vehicle !!! and then had lunch w Edwin. I even went to the library to just sit there and read. FAVOURITE DAY OF MY LIFE SO FAR IMG_1819.JPG

2. Chinese New Year fell upon us! Didn’t even have to leave the house to buy my clothes this year.IMG_1972IMG_1978IMG_1979

2. Third week, the juniors had their first water and we went down to help….first time back on a boat in 10 months. (I wrote about it here : Canoe Revival IMG_2012IMG_2034IMG_2040

3. Then on the 21st, the canoeists came over for a popiah/ meesiam sleepover !!IMG_2126

4. On the 23rd, Cel and I went to watch deadpool and head lunch at Les Patisseries. Great pal, great foodIMG_2161IMG_2174

5. 24th, Kris and I had great great cheap cheap prataaaaaaa then she came over for a while. Then we headed down to MacRitchie where it started pouring and we took refuge in the shed…She met Edwin too! (Coincidentally, it was his birthday) IMG_2189IMG_2302

6. Saturday we went down to macritchie again!!! (omg such clingy seniors) but it really is v fun to paddle recreationally, although, I do miss intense paddling..ha ha haa…sometimes..IMG_2365.PNG.
Then a few of us went for lunch and I went to church and had bingsu at Upper Thomson. It was rly good. IMG_2367


Im sorry this post has become damn dreary hahah….these 2 months of no responsibility, no worries has been really great… This freedom and ignorance is coming to an end….


Take Me To Church

Maybe that is why we find ourselves sitting in the parish hall, listening to the First Reading, the Second Reading, the Gospel and the Homily. Maybe that is why we try to rely on the Word of God to find meaning and purpose in our lives, coupling every possible event in the bible to the happenings of our lives, even if the similarities are ridiculously insignificant.

Today I went for mass and tried to find some meaning in what I heard the uptheres try to tell me…and I couldn’t….I started daydreaming then snapping out of it and onto wondering why I was even sitting there….

So anyway that was that. After mass I went to Popular and bought a book called Brave Enough – A mini instruction manual for the soul (MAINLY because it had really interesting quotes, PARTLY because the first thing I read was ‘Love many, trust few, and always paddle your canoe’ and I was like OMGGGG THIS IS SOOO MEANT FOR ME…I am a canoeist (or was)….THE QUOTE HAS THE WORD CANOE IN IT…ME ME ME!!!!)

So far, 5/8 of the quotes that I have read, I have managed to link to my life. And that was when I decided to draft this post. As it was then I realised: any collection of words serves its purpose to the human mind by helping guide our motives, correct our behaviour and give us the morale boost we need.

WORDS provide the solace we crave and the fact that such quotes exist or the reason we read the bible (I think…I’m not v holy but its why I read the bible)…is not only to find consolation and support…but to know that there are people out there who feel the same way too.


Caught Between

Caught between:

  1. wanting to paddle and help the juniors all the time VS not wanting to look like a clingy senior (lmao)
  2. wanting to like you VS not wanting to dig my own grave
  3. wanting to have hopes and expectations VS needing to prepare myself for the worst
  4. wanting to do something about my life VS wanting to nua around all day
  5. wanting to exercise and lose weight VS not wanting to feel the pain




Canoe Revival

You really don’t know how much you’ve missed it till you’re back at it. On wednesday, Adilah, Minh Anh and I headed back to MacRitchie to help our juniors with the grand juniors.

Although some things felt completely foreign, like:
– reaching the shed and not seeing my own teammates
– the shed looked rather different
– reaching for my paddle and realising that they no longer separate it boys paddles one side, girls paddles one side…then realising that my paddle is not in its usual place and no where to be found
– not seeing the lifejackets arranged girls at the bottom, boys on the top….then realising theres no lifejacket with the red tape that says ‘NICOLE’ on it

There was so much familiarity and you really felt everything in your bones…like muscle memory…
– I got to take connect (even tho my soul belongs to k4, connect is still pretty close to my heart)
– Got on at the pontoon and launched and everything felt so natural…I finally understand what coach meant by you never forget technique
– Even getting into the boat at the shore felt so natural, even though we haven’t gone in that way since forever ago
– And just take every stroke was so…normal
– running to the toilet bc momma was coming to fetch me
– waiting at the carpark with my multiple bags, wet plastic bags and protein drink
– the mild bruise at the base of my thumb from paddling

ahh i miss being in the cca…i miss feeling like canoeing was something i was supposed to do and part of my routine…i miss subjecting my body to that intensity everyday because my body becomes so used to the vigour that it doesn’t hurt BECAUSE  I DO NOT miss my shoulder aching.. bc not carrying a boat in 10 months makes your shoulder weak and easily bruised…dude single carrying connect back to the shed that day was so painful (in my defence, there was a weight inside)


and he will be loved

Every time I think about you, I think about how I want to be more than just somebody to you. More than just a normal friend, but a friend you’d trust with your secrets and midnight emotions.

But maybe you think it isn’t ideal, and so you’re not trying to make it work. Maybe I’m just not worth it, maybe our lives just don’t collide the way I want them to, or maybe you just don’t need another friend.

Why won’t you let me love you?

blame it on the oestrogen 


In This Moment

I am happy. I had breakfast with a great pal and a great chat with her. I drove a car for the first time. I went to the library and sat there reading my book, doing absolutely nothing but reading and enjoying doing nothing else. I had lunch with another great pal and a great chat with him. Then I went back to work, and got my pay check! Slowly, everything’s coming together.

I hope this lasts, I hope we last