cliche Nobody likes change. Something about how the brain responds to shifts in the environment, unfamiliarity, and the fear of our inability to adapt. I have to say, I detest change. Good or bad, I hate it especially when it happens to the people or things around me…but what if the change is me? (I hope this doesn’t sound like a self absorbed post lul) This year has been full of new experiences, I’ve tried most, shied away from some, but ultimately this is the person I’ve become because of these experiences. I’m proud of some- saying it changed me for the better, ashamed of some- saying this isn’t the person I am and it was a momentary lapse. But I’ve done them, and I can’t keep ignoring the fact that this is me now. (lul)
I need to eradicate the idea that one person only has one personality. One does not have a single naked display of emotion 24/7 right. YES. Theres a drop down list of emotions that my heart/brain can choose to evince. Similarly, I can behave one way with the zoo, one way with the canoeists, one way with sc1, one way with jiemeis and another with family etcetc, and it’ll all still be me, just different sides.
But seriously though, what has happened to me? Honestly, 2014 has been a great year – mostly because it was a completely new environment, new escapades, new people but I feel like I’ve lived most of the year in a daze. Drifting from day to day, doing things I said I’d never do, thinking things that should not be acceptable are completely fine. A year ago, I rarely sweared, now the f word rolls off my tongue, it has become part of my daily vocabulary. A year ago, I was attentive, I knew how to control myself and read different people. A year ago, I also couldn’t do 10 man push ups but look where we at now nigga, started from the bottom now we here hahhaha
I don’t know, change is strange. Have I grown or changed for the worst or is this all acceptable? People tell me ‘Out of all of us, you’ve changed the most’ and ‘you are an mg girl leh’. Am I that easily influenced? Or was I too sheltered that these new adventures excite me and I’m so eager to try everything like a suaku.