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ordloh

i really wanted to go, believe me.
i woke up and mourned over the fact that i was not allowed to celebrate this occasion with you.
the first time i would have ever been there to celebrate an army occasion with you in person, a milestone in your life.
seeing the smile on your face, you march together with ur coy. Even through the screen of someone’s phone, the video was enough to make me feel proud…even your stupid dab at the end made me chuckle to myself.
i wanted to take insta story after insta story showing my friends which one you were, i wanted to give you the most fan girl hug ever, i wanted to give you the gift i had been thinking about getting you for months.
but i couldn’t because we are not together anymore and you have since moved on.
did u want me there? did u not? i can’t tell.
i can only imagine ur friends saying “fuck her lah”
but thats only flattering myself. maybe you’ve moved on completely and you didn’t even care. but you’re not that kind of person ): you always cared, and i always made the mistake of thinking you didnt.
i wish you knew how much you are appreciated and loved, how much you were missed every time the army made you their bitch.
i wish i was there. but your happiness isn’t mine to share anymore and theres nothing i can do about it.

congratulations! you did it.

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